Wilderness Cabin, Loons, and the Cowboy Bar: Wyoming and Idaho Journal

Two black and white dogs standing on concrete steps in front of a rustic wooden cabin surrounded by green grass and trees

June 12: A week in a cabin in western Wyoming, south of Yellowstone, is major bonding for my border collies, both to each other and to me. It is blessed quiet here, which is something I don’t have at home on the west side of Denver. I lock the screen door at dusk so they can’t run out, but can still hear the coyotes yipping to welcome the night.

Beau used to love this cabin. There is a clear water stream not even 100 yards to the east. In the summer and fall he used to go back there and just lie in the stream, letting the water flow around him. You never saw a happier dog.

Jess and Ridge and I are doing so much hiking that when dark gets here, I am ready for sleep, and often sleep way past the 5:30 AM sunrise.

There is a definite feeling of comfort to be in a locked and secure cabin in the middle of grizzly country. I have had my share of stress-filled nights sleeping in a tent up here. A cabin is fine.

Dense forest in front of snow-covered mountain peaks under a cloudy sky

June 13: We finished our morning walk, a long trek that took a couple of hours, and now we are sitting at the cabin during the midday heat. At my feet are two very content, very tired border collies.

When people think of hiking in grizzly country, they often imagine a place of constant, high-stakes danger. The reality is different. You rarely see a bear. They generally know you are there well ahead of time and quietly disappear into the timber long before you arrive. I still keep canister of pepper spray in my back pocket, but lately, I can feel my body becoming much more relaxed when we head off-trail.

A large part of that peace of mind comes from the fact that both border collies are wearing their e-collars. They act as an invisible leash, giving me the immediate ability to stop them if their hunting or herding instincts try to override their training. I rarely have to use them. Ridge did get a small reminder this morning to leave a duck alone in a pond, but he is incredibly sharp, as is Jess. He will remember the lesson for next time.

#wyoming #winegarholewilderness
#ashtonidaho #grizzlycountry #bordercollies

(I love these dogs)

lush green meadow with dense forest in the background under a partly cloudy sky

June 14: Once you get used to solitude and are able to handle the loneliness that comes with it, it's not a terrible life.

The border collies and I get up in the morning, and before I eat breakfast or have coffee or anything else, we head out on an adventure. A couple of hours later we come back to the cabin. I feed them breakfast, mess around on the computer a little bit, and then around noon all three of us take a nap so we'll have the energy to do it all again later in the day.

It's a life immersed in wild nature and canine companionship. These dogs and I love the wilderness. We love being out there together, seeing what is around the next bend in the trail or beyond the next ridge. And we love each other. That's really what this life comes down to.

#bordercollies #wilderness #wyoming #cabinlife

June 15: Today a wildlife officer and some helpers came and released a problem bear about 150 yards south of the cabin - a black bear. I went down and talked to them a while since I really haven't talked to anybody for over a week. He said there is a lot of wildlife around and eventually I'll see them; I think he was talking about the bears (grizzly).

I always make a campfire in the evening and sit out there with the dogs waiting for the coyotes to howl. They were real close tonight. That's an excitement my dogs will probably never forget.

June 14: "Instructions for living a life: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it." - Mary Oliver.

Last night, right after I arrived at the lake, a loon called. I waited until well past sunset, hoping to hear it again and maybe record it, but no such luck. Absolute silence.

Loons are not like songbirds that call over and over. Their calling seems unpredictable and inconsistent, something I discovered firsthand.

This morning, though, we went back to the lake, and within five minutes of stopping, several loons began calling again and again. What an amazing thing to witness. After all that waiting the night before, suddenly the lake was alive with their voices.

The morning was so still and quiet that the loon calls seemed impossibly loud, echoing across the water. Jess and Ridge came over and settled against my legs. I think the calls startled them a little. They had never heard anything quite like that before, and honestly, neither had I.

____________

"The sound is both beautiful and unsettling, a reminder that we are only visitors in their ancient world." — Paul Johnsgard, ornithologist

"The long, mournful wail of the loon across a glassy lake is the ultimate expression of wilderness solitude." — Arthur Cleveland Bent, ornithologist

"The tremolo of the loon is a functional warning, yet to human ears, it sounds like an outburst of pure wildness." — Edward Howe Forbush, state ornithologist of Massachusetts

______________

This country has so few visitors that even on the weekend I only see a few people. And every time I have visited a lake I was the only one there.

#northernwilderness #commonloon #bordercollies

June 17: Ridge gets really calm on the water, just like Beau did. He sat at the bow with his paws on the side of the kayak (cute overload!) and later didn't make a sound while two loons called and swam close to us. (wait for it)

Jess is the opposite. She loves the water so much that for the first fifteen minutes she keeps shifting positions and I have to counterbalance her or we're going in. She settles down eventually, but it takes a while.

I kayaked with them for three days in a row on this lake, and I was the only one there all three mornings. Each day I took the dogs out separately, then today I went back out alone without them. The kind of morning I come to these places for. (the photo at the end is me smiling 😁 )

#mountainlake #commonloon #lakekayaking #bordercollies #kayaking

Two wet black and white dogs standing on a dry, sandy area beside a calm river with sparse bushes and overcast sky

Wide river flowing through a natural landscape with bushes, trees, and a cloudy sky

Two wet black and white dogs standing near a riverbank with bushes and tall trees in the background under a cloudy sky

black and white dog wearing a harness standing on a dirt path next to a river under a cloudy sky

dry desert shrubs with green and gray foliage growing among sandy soil and rocks

Plowed farmland with rows of soil under a cloudy sky with patches of blue and distant hills

plowed farmland with rows leading toward a distant mountain range under a sky filled with dramatic dark and white clouds

Expansive farmland with freshly plowed rows under a sky filled with large, dramatic clouds casting shadows on distant mountains

plowed field with green grass and rolling hills under a sky filled with large, dramatic clouds

Green and brown fields under a dramatic sky with dark clouds and patches of sunlight highlighting distant mountains

Sun shining over a wide green grassy field with a partly cloudy blue sky

Sun setting behind a group of tall pine trees with green grass in the foreground

White flowering branches in a green forest clearing with two black and white dogs in the background

Calm lake reflecting a sky filled with scattered clouds and surrounded by forested hills

A dense forest of tall evergreen trees under a cloudy sky with a patch of blue showing through

Black and white dog standing in shallow water near a fallen tree trunk with lily pads and tall trees in the background under a cloudy sky

Black and white dog standing on a fallen tree trunk in a shallow pond surrounded by green vegetation and a forest of tall pine trees under a partly cloudy sky

Two black dogs playfully interacting near a dirt road with a red pickup truck parked in the background surrounded by tall pine trees

Cluster of small white buds perched above a set of elongated green leaves with serrated edges

Black and white dog running on a rocky dirt path with yellow wildflowers and tall evergreen trees in the background

cluster of yellow wildflowers with broad green leaves in front of tall pine trees under a blue sky

Cluster of yellow wildflowers with broad green leaves in a field with tall pine trees and blue sky in the background

Cluster of yellow wildflowers with large green leaves in a meadow, with tall pine trees and a partly cloudy blue sky in the background

cluster of bright yellow wildflowers with green leaves in front of tall evergreen trees under a partly cloudy blue sky

grassy meadow with scattered bushes and tall evergreen trees under a partly cloudy blue sky

tall evergreen trees with a grassy meadow in the foreground under a partly cloudy blue sky

cluster of vibrant yellow flowers with green leaves in a sunlit meadow under a partly cloudy sky

Red pickup truck parked on a dirt road near three black and white cows with tall pine trees and a partly cloudy sky in the background

Dense green forest in the foreground with snow-capped mountains in the distance under a cloudy sky

Dense pine forest in the foreground with a snow-capped mountain range under a cloudy sky in the background

Snow-capped mountain range under a cloudy sky with a dense forest in the foreground

Dense forest in the foreground with snow-capped mountain peaks under a cloudy sky

close-up of a purple flower spike with green leaves and several similar flowers in a blurred natural background

Cluster of broad, green leaves with water droplets, growing low to the ground among smaller plants and grass

Green leaves with water droplets and a blurred cluster of small purple flowers

open grassy field with scattered trees under a partly cloudy sky

Open grassy field bordered by dense trees under a partly cloudy sky

Two black dogs in a lush green meadow with trees and a partly cloudy sky in the background

Two black and white dogs in a grassy field with trees and a partly cloudy sky in the background

Tall thin stalk with small purple flowers growing among green grass

Tall stem with multiple purple star-shaped flowers surrounded by green grass

Tall green grass surrounding a vertical stem with multiple delicate purple flowers and yellow stamens

Delicate purple flowers with slender petals growing on a tall green stem surrounded by grass

small cluster of purple flowers with yellow stamens among tall green grass and leaves in dim light

Two black and white dogs standing on a large rock in a sunlit grassy field with trees and hills in the background

Two black and white dogs standing on a large rock in a grassy field with trees and a clear blue sky in the background

Two black and white dogs standing on a large rock in a sunny green meadow with trees and hills in the background

Two black and white dogs standing on a large rock in a grassy field with a forest in the background

Green field and bushes with snow-capped mountains and a forest under a clear blue sky in the background

Green plant with elongated, pointed leaves arranged in a radial pattern among grass and other small plants

green leaves with palmate lobes among tall grass and small wildflowers in natural ground vegetation

Dark animal walking through a sunlit grassy clearing surrounded by leafy trees

Black and white dog walking through a sunlit grassy clearing surrounded by slender trees with green leaves

Two black and white dogs sitting in a grassy clearing surrounded by tall pine trees

Two black and white dogs in a wide green meadow with purple wildflowers, with a forest and snow-capped mountains in the background under a clear blue sky

Cluster of pale yellow flowers growing among green grass in bright sunlight

Cluster of white flowers with long petals growing among green grass and a taller purple flower in the background

Two black and white dogs on a dirt path near a metal gate with a wooden fence post and a tall pine tree, with a log cabin and forest in the background under a clear blue sky

Black and white dog walking through tall grass beside a rustic wooden cabin under a clear blue sky

Tall stems with clusters of small, purple star-shaped flowers surrounded by green grass and foliage

small snake with yellow and black stripes resting on a rock covered with lichen and surrounded by grass

Sunlight shining through trees onto a grassy field dotted with purple wildflowers and scattered rocks

Purple wildflowers in tall green grass with a black and white dog walking in the background under a setting sun

black dog sitting in a field of tall green grass with purple flowers, facing away toward a forest edge

Sunlit mountain range behind a dense forest and a green field with some branches framing the right side

A deer grazing in a sunlit meadow with green grass and trees in the background

Calm lake reflecting clouds, trees, and distant mountains under a blue sky

Calm lake reflecting clouds and a forested shoreline with distant mountains under a blue sky

Field of green plants with tall stalks of small purple flowers and scattered bright yellow flowers

Dark forest silhouette beneath a cloudy sky with patches of pink and orange hues from the setting or rising sun

Cluster of fuzzy pink wildflowers with slender stems surrounded by green grass and foliage in sunlight

Close-up of a single pinkish flower with multiple petals and fine hairs on its stems and leaves, surrounded by green grass and plants

black and white dog standing in a grassy field looking toward the horizon with trees and a blue sky in the background

Green meadow with tall grasses and small yellow wildflowers under a partly cloudy blue sky, with a line of trees and distant mountains in the background

Cluster of purple flowers with some petals beginning to wilt against a blurred green background

close-up of a tall purple wildflower with several blossoms and some dried petals against a blurred green background

Two black and white dogs standing and sitting in tall grass beside a calm river with a forest in the background

Two black and white dogs standing and sitting in tall grass near a calm river with trees in the background

tall slender green stem with small purple-blue flowers blooming against a blurred green grass background

Single tall stem with multiple small purple-blue flowers blooming against a blurred green background

single slender stem with several small purple flowers against a blurred green background

Sunlight filtering through dense pine trees onto green grass and wildflowers in a forest

Two dogs standing on grassy shore near a calm lake with mist rising and tall trees in the background under a clear blue sky

Mist rising over a calm lake surrounded by trees with two dogs on grassy shore in soft morning light

Two dogs near a misty lakeshore with tall pine trees and a clear blue sky

Tall trees with thin trunks standing near a body of water with mist rising and sunlight casting shadows on green grass

Tall trees standing beside a grassy area with mist rising over a body of water under a clear blue sky

A misty lake bordered by green grass and dense trees under a clear blue sky

Calm lake with early morning mist rising above the water and dense pine trees reflected on the surface

Yellow flowers with broad green leaves and tall stems bearing clusters of small purple flowers

Cluster of yellow flowers surrounded by tall green leaves with several purple flower spikes in a natural outdoor setting

Black and white dog standing in a sunlit grassy field with tall evergreen trees in the background

Black and white dog standing in a grassy clearing with tall pine trees in the background

Tall stalk with small purple flowers illuminated by sunlight in a grassy field

Group of birds standing and walking in a grassy meadow with scattered rocks and a forest in the background under a clear blue sky

Tall purple flower with multiple blossoms standing in a sunlit grassy meadow

Tall purple wildflower standing amidst green grass with trees blurred in the background

Coiled snake with dark scales and yellow stripes resting on gravel near green foliage

Two black and white dogs resting in a wooden bunk bed with one on the mattress and the other lying on the floor beneath it

Two black and white dogs resting, one lying on a bunk bed mattress and the other lying stretched out on the wooden floor beneath it

Calm lake reflecting tall pine trees and clear blue sky with some grass visible in the shallow water near the shore

Tall slender green plants with vibrant red clustered flowers growing in a grassy field with trees in the background

Green plants with tall stems topped with clusters of small red flowers in a grassy field near trees

Black and white dog standing on a fallen log by a calm lake surrounded by green grass and trees under a blue sky

Black and white dog standing on a fallen log by the edge of a calm lake surrounded by green grass and forest under a partly cloudy sky

Black dog sitting on grass near the edge of a calm lake surrounded by trees with clear sky reflections

dog standing on grassy shore looking across a calm lake with forest reflections

black and brown dog standing on a grassy shore looking out over a calm lake reflecting trees and sky

Cluster of yellow flowers with broad green leaves surrounded by smaller purple flowers and greenery in natural ground

Two black and white dogs sitting on a dirt path surrounded by green foliage and trees

Two black and white dogs in a forested area with one sitting and the other lying down on a dirt path

Two black and white dogs sitting inside a vehicle, one resting on a blue cushion on a storage container and looking out the window, the other standing nearby with wet fur

Black and white dog lying on grass in the foreground with a red pickup truck and camouflaged kayak on its side in front of tall pine trees under a clear blue sky

Man standing beside a red pickup truck in a forest clearing, petting a black and white dog with another black dog nearby

Man standing outdoors near a red pickup truck with two black and white dogs and a folded camouflage kayak hanging on the side of the truck

Two black dogs standing near a shallow water area in a green grassy field with trees and small wooden cabins in the background

Clear stream flowing through lush green grass and dense bushes under a bright blue sky

black and white dog lying down in grass next to a narrow river with bushes on the opposing bank

Black and white dog standing on a dirt ground near a camouflaged boat and a person wearing dark pants and a plaid shirt

Bright flames from a campfire burning wood sticks in a grassy clearing with trees and hills in the background under a clear sky

Silhouetted tall pine trees under a twilight sky with a crescent moon and a bright star or planet nearby

Crescent moon and a bright star visible above a silhouette of tall trees at dusk

Man wearing a plaid shirt, jeans, and a cowboy hat standing near a river with green grass and plants in the foreground under a partly cloudy sky

man wearing a cowboy hat and plaid shirt standing near a river with tall grass and a bridge on a partly cloudy day

Person wearing worn brown cowboy boots and blue jeans standing on dirt ground with footprints and small rocks

painting of a rodeo rider on a bucking horse with dust and dynamic brush strokes

upright bear with mouth open and large paws extended forward, displayed behind glass in a wooden interior

Stage with drum set and microphones in front of a circular illuminated sign showing a cowboy riding a bucking horse with the text The Cowboy Bar Jackson Hole

Single tall purple flower standing among green grass and foliage

Tall purple flower with multiple elongated petals against a dark grassy background

Single slender stem with light purple star-shaped flowers surrounded by green grass

tall thin green stem with small purple star-shaped flowers and unopened buds against a background of tall grass

Cluster of large green leaves with prominent veins growing close to the ground among grass

Field filled with numerous purple wildflowers and tall grass with forest and shrubs in the background

Tall purple-blue flower with multiple petals against a blurred green background

Field of purple wildflowers with sunlight filtering through nearby trees

Black and white dog walking through a field of tall grass and purple wildflowers with a forest in the background

Field of tall green grass with scattered purple flowers and a dense tree line in the background

Yellow flower among clusters of tall purple flowers and green foliage

Two black dogs resting and standing on grassy shore beside a calm lake with a forested background

cluster of small purple flowers with green leaves and a small insect on one flower

Cluster of small purple flowers with green leaves and a fly resting on one of the petals

Dense forest of tall evergreen trees with a grassy clearing in front under a clear blue sky

View from a kayak among water lilies on a calm lake with trees in the distance under a clear blue sky

Yellow water lilies floating among green lily pads on a calm dark water surface

View of lily pads floating on calm water with a forested shoreline in the distance, seen from the vantage point of someone sitting in a camouflage-patterned kayak or boat

Bearded man in a plaid shirt and cap paddling a canoe through a pond covered with lily pads under a clear blue sky

Calm pond covered with green lily pads and two yellow water lilies blooming near the foreground, surrounded by trees under a clear blue sky

Brown leaves floating on dark water with submerged stems and branches visible beneath the surface

Rustic wooden cabin interior with bunk beds, wooden chairs, and clothes hanging on the chair backs and door

Delicate purple wildflowers growing among green grass and blurred foliage

Delicate purple flowers with thin petals against a dark, blurred background

Field of purple wildflowers with a background of dense forest and snow-capped mountains under a clear blue sky

tall slender stalk with white and purple flowers growing among green grass

Field of tall green grass dotted with clusters of small purple flowers

Field with tall purple wildflowers bathed in soft sunlight with trees in the background

Clusters of small purple wildflowers growing among tall green grass

Sunlight illuminating a patch of small purple flowers in a grassy field with trees in the background

Calm water in the foreground with a large patch of green lily pads and tall dense evergreen trees in the background

Night sky filled with stars and the Milky Way galaxy visible above silhouettes of tall pine trees

black and white dog sitting on a kayak surrounded by water lilies on a calm lake with forested hills in the background

black dog sitting on the front of a kayak surrounded by water lilies in a calm lake under clear blue sky

Black dog sitting on the front of a camouflaged inflatable boat on a calm lake with lily pads and surrounded by evergreen trees under a clear blue sky

Black dog sitting on the front of a camouflaged kayak on a calm lake with trees and lily pads in the background under a clear blue sky

Older man with a white beard wearing a cap and plaid shirt sitting in a boat on a calm lake with a forested shoreline under a clear blue sky

black and white dog sitting on the edge of a boat floating on a lily pad-covered lake surrounded by trees under a clear blue sky

Black and white dog lying on an inflatable boat surrounded by water lilies on a calm lake with a forest in the background

Black and white dog sitting in a kayak surrounded by water lilies on a calm lake with forested shorelines under a clear blue sky

Black and white dog lying on a camouflage raft floating on water covered with lily pads, surrounded by a forest under a clear blue sky

Black and white dog standing on a kayak floating on a lake covered with lily pads and surrounded by trees under a clear blue sky

Bronze sculptures of wolves on a table in an art gallery with paintings of animals and landscapes on the walls

Older man with a white beard wearing a plaid shirt and cowboy hat standing outside a building decorated with string lights

Couple dancing in front of a live band performing on stage with colorful lights at a bar

Couple dancing on a wooden floor in front of a live band performing on a stage with colorful lighting

Couple dancing on a dance floor in front of a band playing on a stage with colorful stage lights

A man in a cowboy hat and a woman dancing together in front of a live band playing on stage at a bar

Neon sign reading 'Million Dollar Cowboy Bar' with a red neon cowboy figure above the entrance at night

People dancing and socializing in a dimly lit venue with a live band performing on stage under blue and purple lighting

Gallery room with sculptures of wolves, a Native American figure, and a person in western attire, surrounded by paintings of wildlife and western scenes

Two black and white dogs wearing harnesses standing and sitting on a stone ledge next to a large sculpture made of white intertwined antlers in a park

Two people dressed in camouflage jackets standing close together outdoors with binoculars around their necks

Man wearing a hat and glasses sitting in the driver's seat of a red vehicle with a dog beside him

Two brightly colored birds with yellow and orange plumage perched on thin branches with green leaves and small white flowers

Snow-covered mountain with orange sky at sunrise, mist over a river with a solitary elk, surrounded by forest

Mounted animal skull with long curved horns on a fur-covered plaque, flanked by two pairs of decorative spurs on a red wall

neon sign with a cowboy riding a bucking bronco and the words Cowboy Bar against a mountain backdrop at sunset

realistic paintings and sculptures of a bear, a ram, and moose displayed in a gallery with neutral and warm-colored walls

June 20: I think what made last Thursday night at the Million Dollar Cowboy Bar in Jackson so explosive was the ten days of maximum solitude that preceded it. I had just spent a week and a half in a remote wilderness cabin with my dogs, tucked between Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons—a wild country ruled by grizzlies, wolf packs, moose, and the lonely wail of loons. By the end of it, I was entirely starved for human contact. I was ready for some life.

Getting presentable for the dance hall required a bit of logistical maneuvering. First came a deeply needed shower, made trickier because I had my border collies, Jess and Ridge, along for the trip. You can't leave your dogs in a truck during the summer heat, so I tracked down a multi-level parking garage on Simpson Street. The concrete shade kept the truck cool, allowing me to slip away to the Teton recreation center for a quick rinse.

Then came the footwear crisis. I had planned this entire night but somehow managed to leave my western boots back in Denver. I marched into the Jackson Boot Barn only to find that smooth-bottomed boots with anything but a broad toe were completely out of stock. Even worse, my standard size refused to slip over my feet. I had to buy a size larger, compensate with thick socks, and lay down the cash for the broad toes. They are far more popular now than I realized, which makes sense, considering I'm still accustomed to the black, low-heel Justins my daughter Amy won for me in a Father's Day coloring contest at Miller Stockman back in the nineties. I didn't know how the new leather would handle the floor, but after the very first song, the worry vanished. I forgot I was wearing them.

The first woman to dance with me was exceptionally talented. When the song ended, I told her so. She smiled and mentioned her background was in Lindy Hop. I told her I'd learned Lindy in Denver and liked to transition from a country triple step into a swing frame without missing a beat. "I noticed that," she said. Later in the evening, when the house band struck up a cover of Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire, she sought me out again. At the final chord, I looked at her and said, "I could leave right now and be happy." She looked back and said, "Same for me."

For three hours, the room was pure, high-energy momentum and maximum joy. Word around town was that Thursdays brought out the locals, and on that floor, I felt like a fascinating novelty. These sweet women hadn't encountered someone my age who knew how to flawlessly lead a triple step, a two-step, a waltz, and a slow blues. Once I danced with one woman in a group, her friends would immediately line up for their turn. I was more than happy to oblige.

What set me apart from the crowd was the way I switched between stationary swing dances and the traditional, counter-clockwise progression around the floor. That styling is a direct throwback to the 1990s, learning to dance at the Grizzly Rose with my ex-wife, Janet. I honestly can't recall if Janet and I ever danced together at the Cowboy Bar. The memory mimics the blurry, beautiful nights we shared at Cassie's in Cody during our Wyoming vacations, blending a perfect night out with the high-country wilderness. I remember one specific night at Cassie's when the band played a heart-stopping rendition of The Sound of Silence on a steel guitar. The frontman introduced it by saying the track perfectly captured the heavy, isolated feeling of a Wyoming winter.

Maybe that memory of the Cowboy Bar belongs to a later chapter—after the marriage ended and I was settling into my new skin. I distinctly remember bringing two lady friends, Sharon and Beverly, there on the final night of a Yellowstone trip before we drove back to Denver. Beverly was completely spellbound; it was her first time inside a true Western dance hall. I'm glad I shared that with them, but my days of making women happy for longer than the duration of a song are long gone.

I would probably still be dancing with Janet today if she hadn't walked away. Long marriages require constant, heavy adjustments, a truth she has likely encountered in her second one. I was never a man to give up; I was entirely ready to bend and change to hold us together. But when she met me at the judge's chambers to finalize the divorce, and then waited outside just to give me that final, parting kiss—it altered the trajectory of my life forever. I could never bring myself to get seriously, long-term attached to a woman again. I am perfectly open about the fear I carry: the fear of letting someone in, only to have them cut me free again.

Instead, I chose a different rhythm: maximum solitude balanced by maximum celebration to drive away the loneliness and the blues. That is the story of my life now.

Later that Thursday night, I walked up to a table of four attractive women who looked to be in their thirties. I asked the one closest to the floor to dance. She wore a light summer sundress, her blonde hair falling past her shoulders. We shared two dances. I kept my leads patient and clear. She smiled the entire time, take-your-breath-away beautiful. When the second song proved a bit more rhythmically difficult, I told her she handled it wonderfully. She thanked me, and just before she stepped back to her friends, I looked at her and said, "You are really gorgeous."

She was. And I consider it an absolute honor and a thrill that she chose to stand up from that table and share her time with me. My life has shifted, certainly. There are no more long-term relationships on my horizon, but I am not a man who is afraid of women. I am a great lover of women. They remain the most amazing creatures on this planet.

#cowboybarJacksonWyoming #countrydancehall #triplestep #wyoming #bordercollies

I don’t even know if single is the right word anymore for a 74-year-old man.

Single sounds like something young people say when they are still looking, still hoping, still imagining all the possible turns their lives might take. At my age, the word feels a little too light. Maybe the better word is alone. Maybe it is left to myself. On harder days, maybe it even feels like left behind.

But I don’t know that I care much what anyone calls it.

The truth is, I live my life as it is. I spend my days and weeks up in the mountains with my dogs, walking trails, sleeping in cabins, listening to wind in the trees and coyotes after dark. I have the kind of quiet that many people say they want but could not actually live with. My border collies keep me moving, keep me laughing, keep me connected to the world in a way that does not require many words.

Then, when the end of the week comes, I clean myself up, put on my boots and hat, and go to the honky-tonk.

There is still music. There are still bright lights and hardwood floors. There are still sweet ladies who will take my hand for a dance and smile at me like I am not invisible yet. Maybe that is part of what keeps an old man alive inside. Not romance exactly, not in the old way, but something close enough to remind the heart that it still works.

So maybe I am single. Maybe I am alone. Maybe I have been left to make peace with my own company.

But I am not discarded.